This year has been quite eventful for me. While overall my health has been continuing to improve or plateauing, a lot of other things have gone on - being made redundant, setting myself up as self-employed and freelancing, then starting a new job being three of the most obvious.
As the end of the year approaches, I've gone a little into overdrive, trying to get everything done that I thought I'd get done this year (and a few other things as well). Setting myself numerous targets and trying to attain them. I had a moment of sanity a couple of months ago, when I decided that I wouldn't be making presents for people this year as it was too much. But that seems to have been a rare moment. Mostly I've been trying, and failing, to be perfect at everything all at once.
Also, having said above about my health improving, I've had several sore throats over the last couple of months and a couple of digestive niggles, and it's possible that I'm getting a bit run down. I don't want to overdo things and make the ME worse again, so I need to be sensible.
The moment of revelation for me came the other evening when I cried on my husband because I'd come to realise that the shawl I finished casting on on Saturday was not going to be finished by tonight - particularly not if I was going to work and sleep. He pointed out that it didn't matter if I didn't finish it by then and as we talked I realised that it was only me who had given me this unattainable deadline - yes I did have a good reason for it, but nobody else was expecting me to have finished it by then.
So I need to take a step back. If I don't blog for a few days it's quite likely nobody will notice given the frequency I've blogged in the past. I can say 'no' to people at work if I know adding a job to my workload will mean I don't have time to do things properly. While it would be nice if the house was decluttered, sorted, clean and tidy, it doesn't have to look like a magazine spread all at once. The world won't end if I don't get everything I'd like to do done in the time I'd like to do it!
Relaxing, reduced to-do lists and sensible bedtimes are the way forward.
And having said that. I'm off to bed.
